Evil Edna, a character from the wonderful Willo The Wisp cartoon series

I’ve just finished a week of TV deprivation.   My friend, Jennifer, suggested we do it (thanks, Jen!).   The idea didn’t make me incandescent with anger as the week of reading deprivation did during Julia Cameron’s ‘Artist’s Way’ course, but I confess I was anxious.   As is the general way of things, as soon as I’m not supposed to do something I want to do it more – what you focus on grows, and all that.

My twitchy fingers did reach for the remote more than I care to admit.  I currently divide my time between London and Devon and two very different lifestyles: when in London I work a minimum 12 hours every day in an office or similar, whereas in Devon I work a few hours a day from home.  So the TV hardly warms up in London, but Devon is another matter.  I put the TV on to ‘just catch the news’ first thing in the morning, and it stays on until ‘Lorraine’ irritates me enough to turn it off.  Then perhaps lunch is in front of ‘Loose Women’ or an Australian soap, neither of which enriches my soul or makes me proud to own up to watching.  Then on again early evening until bedtime, even if I’m not watching it.  The mindlessness of this has to stop.

Did my TV-free week make me more productive?  Well, I tidied out a few cupboards, and I read.  Reading is possibly my favourite thing and I do a lot of it anyway, but I took this as an opportunity to re-visit a few favourites.  So I indulged with David Niven’s ‘The Moon’s A Balloon’, the eternally witty Douglas Adams and am currently devouring one of the brilliant Barefoot Doctor’s books, in which I found this passage:

       “The ability to be alone with yourself, to acknowledge, accept and have the courage to face your feelings and be sufficiently nurtured and fascinated by just your own company is, according to certain Oriental medical beliefs facilitated by having strong heart energy.  It is this energy that supports your sense of self, governs your tone of mind, and therefore colours your entire internal experience of life.”

I must have strong heart energy because I am very happy with my own company (or perhaps it’s because I’m a big reader).  I can’t remember a time when this wasn’t the case, the cliché being that I’ve only felt lonely in an unhappy marriage.  I’m bewildered that it isn’t the same for everyone, but know plenty of people find being by themselves uncomfortable.  Whereas the idea of not having alone time makes me shudder.  If I were to be in a long-term relationship again I suspect it would follow the Tim Burton/Helena Bonham-Carter model and involve houses next door to each other.

I’m with Audrey Hepburn when she said, “I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.”   I need quiet and thinking time by myself to re-charge, which is what makes turning the TV on for no good reason even more ridiculous.  From now on I shall endeavour to actually only put it on when there’s something I want to pay attention to.