The New Sexy – part 2

blog love walked in

Following on from my last post, I thought I’d share this passage from the brilliantly warm and touching ‘Love Walked In’ by Marisa de los Santos.  Reading it recently made me think about connection: how a sense of connection between each other relies on our willingness to be true and honest and open, and how this is also the foundation of authenticity.  Even about the broken places; in fact especially about the broken places. So, in case you need more encouragement, here it is:

‘But I thought I’d figured it out, why our sex life wasn’t more spectacular; or to be specific, was several worlds away from spectacular.  For all our talk, all our exchanges, we never handed over anything of real importance.  We were all laughter and lightness and glow.  We liked each other till the cows came home, but I never saw his broken places, nothing soft or stinging or half healed-over.  He’d never seen mine, either.  And I decided that truly stellar sex wasn’t possible without that kind of knowledge.’

Authenticity makes sex better, too – a little added incentive!

 

Quoted from the novel ‘Love Walked In’ by Marisa de los Santos, (c) 2006

The New Sexy

        “I think the quality of sexiness comes from within …

and it really doesn’t have much to do with breasts or thighs

or the pout of your lips.”

~ Sophia Loren

There is nothing sexier than someone happy in their own skin.  Walking into a party our first glance may be caught by the exposed flesh of the barely clothed, but it tends to moves on, drawn to something deeper.  That intangible inner glow some people exude, people who are completely at ease with themselves.  Authenticity makes you stand out from the crowd, without needing to shout about it.

 In our secret hearts we all desire to be confident enough to be ourselves, and accepted for who we truly are.  We’re attracted to people who embody that, who radiate an energy that draws and inspires us.

            What is fundamentally beautiful is compassion for yourself

and for those around you.   That kind of beauty

enflames the heart and enchants the soul.

~ Lupita Nyongo

Needy is not sexy.  Insecurity not sexy.  Trying too hard is deeply unsexy.  Authenticity is powerful.  Authenticity is appealing.  Authenticity allows for genuine connection and there is nothing more attractive than that.  When we’re comfortable enough with ourselves to drop the pretence and be really seen in all of our messy, authentic glory, we allow others to do the same.  What is sexier than that?

   “Sex appeal is something that you feel deep down inside …

There is more to sex appeal than just measurements.”

~ Audrey Hepburn

 

Rest In Peace, Robin Williams

(Apologies – had a few technical hitches at this end meaning delay in postings).

Such sad news today.  The tributes pouring in speak of not just an extraordinary talent and comic genius, but a huge hearted, kind and compassionate human being.  With more than 100 credits over five decades, we will all have our favourite films and quotes.  Here is one of mine:

 

Robin Williams quote