Today my authentic self is Grumpy Old Woman.  As I write this I’m coming to the end of a seven hour coach journey and am heartily feeling what many of us already appreciate:  public transport was more bearable before the advent of mobile phones. 

            For the majority of this trek across England a man has been talking loudly into his phone, testing the patience of his fellow travellers.  I’m not sure why these disembodied conversations are more aurally invasive than two people actually on the coach chatting, but for some reason they are.  At first we’re understanding – maybe it’s just a quick chat, or he’s calling because of an emergency, or to finalise travel arrangements?  He’s talking in a foreign language and I have no idea what he is saying but as time rolls on the tone doesn’t suggest a problem, and organising a Royal Wedding would probably involve less talk.

            Of course, in that typically English way, I’d rather sit in my seat muttering to myself about the invasion to my reading/sleeping/personal space than risk confrontation, I’d hate to be considered rude by saying something, after all!  As would the other passengers who, judging by the rolling of eyes, loud sighs and challengingly lowered kindles and books are as irritated as me. 

            Then the inevitable happens:  those other previously considerate souls start using their phones, too.  After all, why should they refrain when he is doing it?  A micro-cosmic example of what happens in wider society, the ripple effect.  The peace of the journey further diminishes. 

            Surely having an awareness of the impact of our behaviour on others is A Good Thing?  Does wishing for a little respect and consideration make me a grumpy old woman?  Yes, dear readers, I’m afraid it’s true:  there comes a time in all our lives when we hear ourselves saying things our mothers would say.  You may believe it will never happen to you, we all think that.  But it will, sure as eggs is eggs.  So in the spirit of authenticity, I admit to my inner grumpiness.

            I continue to sit quietly in my seat, willing my brain to develop the laser-like ability to combust his phone with a single thought.  He need never know it’s me!   I’m only slightly concerned that if I had such a superhero/mutant style power, this is the use to which I would put it.